As a surrogate myself (currently embarking on journey number two with CFC!) I have been thinking a lot about some of the most important aspects of a surrogacy journey. I’ve been asking myself what I want to pass along to other surrogates. What would l want to share with those women who are just starting their journey, or those who are pregnant and going through this for the first time, or experienced surrogates who have been through the process once or possibly even multiple times?
I think to start, I would want to say support is one of the most important things during each and every surrogacy experience. There are many different types of support that I feel are important. Personal support from your family and friends. Support from your coworkers. Support from your IPs. What I want to talk about today, though, is support from your fellow surros.
What we go through as surrogates differs so much from journey to journey. Some women may do this to help a same sex couple from France while another might be helping a single man or woman who lives in California. Or maybe a straight couple from New York. The important thing is that we all have one common goal – helping to create families. This is such a beautiful thing!
During my first journey, I was able to reach out to support groups over Facebook and meet with other surrogates in my area. I have heard of some journeys that have been similar to mine. I have also heard stories of journeys that are very different. The one thing that has been consistent has been the impact of that moment when we are able to be there as a new life is born into a family. It is something that we absolutely treasured as Moms, and our goal is to give that same moment as a gift to another family. It is such a treat being able to talk to other surrogates and hear their stories and to learn about their miraculous outcomes.
It is also so important to be able to hear about the realistic difficulties that we may encounter as a surrogate. To be able to relate to another woman in confidence about the struggles you may be feeling, from failed transfers to premature births. From that horrid heart burn to the struggles of lost intimacy with your spouse. Or the priceless advice from our fellow surro sisters. “What did you use to help with your morning sickness?”, “Did you pump for your IPs?”, “What was it like after the journey ended?” There are so many conversations that are so helpful. The best part of this unique support system is that although we are all in different stages, we can help each other focus on the positive outcome that is waiting for us. There are so many strong and courageous women who are coming together to share their advice and experiences. It is such an amazing connection that we have!
Knowledge is power. In the wonderful world of surrogacy this is especially true! Finding these women who support, inspire, and share their knowledge is a prime example of women empowering women! How lucky am I to have the privilege to be part of this?!
p.s. If you are a surrogate or a hopeful surrogate looking to connect, you can reach me at: firstname.lastname@example.org