Surrogacy is one of the most reliable routes to fatherhood for single men. As opportunities grow and develop for all kinds of people to pursue parenthood through various methods, surrogacy agencies are becoming more popular for folks who are single.
Although surrogacy is a viable option for men who want to have a child without a partner, it’s important to consider all the possibilities before moving forward with the life-changing decision to have a child. Becoming a father through a surrogacy program takes careful planning and reflection.
Gestational Carriers for Single Men
The process of compensated surrogacy involves matching the prospective parent with a surrogate who will become the “birth mother,” or gestational surrogate. The surrogate receives compensation for carrying the child to term and undergoing the inherent risks of pregnancy and delivery. Once a candidate is screened to be a gestational carrier, an embryo created from the sperm and egg of the intended parents or donors is implanted, so she will have no genetic connection to the future child. A person who is single can provide sperm to fertilize a donor egg, which is then transferred to the gestational carrier via the embryo transfer.
Relying on a surrogacy agency and surrogacy attorneys to have a child is safer than finding a surrogate independently, as agencies carefully screen candidates for surrogacy and ensure the matching process is legally safe, but also that it runs smoothly. If you choose this option, you will have the opportunity to get to know your surrogate and be involved throughout the process.
Pros and Cons of Single Father Surrogacy
Before you commit to surrogacy, you should consider all the potential benefits and challenges of the process. Each journey to parenthood is unique, and surrogacy experiences can vary depending on your financial situation in particular. The most common challenge is the cost of surrogacy services, but the process has many special advantages to justify the expenses.
Pros of Surrogacy
- Enables you to pursue your dream of fatherhood without a partner
- Allows you to provide your own sperm and have a biological child
- Presents opportunities for you to select the desired traits of your egg donor
- Offers the possibility of you and your child maintaining a connection with your surrogate
- May be more predictable than waiting for someone to select you as a candidate for an adoption
Cons of Surrogacy
- Is typically more expensive than adoption services
- Comes with few financial assistance options
- Can involve stigma or misunderstanding from friends and family
Single Father Surrogacy vs. Single Father Adoption
The two most common methods for single men to become parents are surrogacy and adoption, and both options have unique benefits.
- Genetics: Surrogacy allows you to have a biological child while also giving you the ability to select the characteristics of the egg donor. When you go to an adoption agency, you are usually given limited options in your selection of a child. Many adoption agencies will allow you to specify basic characteristics, but your family finder will only match you with a child or children they feel would be a good fit. With surrogacy, options for an egg donor, or sometimes even a sperm donor, can lend family building choices. Labs can even screen an embryo for chromosomal abnormalities. Embryos are graded according to quality, so that the strongest embryo or embryos are transferred during a surrogacy journey.
- The legal process: Surrogacy does not require the birth parents to terminate their rights, unlike adoption. Using a surrogate helps you avoid possible legal negotiations with biological parents who are putting their child or children up for adoption. These cases are particularly common if social services initially separates the child from the birth parents. With surrogacy, you are legally recognized as the intended parent before the birth of your child, and the surrogate has no legal obligations to the child according to the surrogacy contract.
- Finances: Having a child with a surrogate involves agency fees, medical costs, and more. Adoption is simply cheaper than compensated surrogacy. One reason surrogacy tends to be the most expensive way to have a child is due to the process of having a surrogate. Any available tax credits, loans, or other financial assistance intended for adoptive families will likely not be provided for you if you use a surrogate, however, certain companies are beginning to offer surrogacy journey benefits. Alternatively, you can apply for a fertility-specific loan to offset the service costs for a surrogacy journey.
- Wait time: If you want to father a child from birth, being matched to a surrogate via an agency generally takes less time than joining an adoption agency waitlist. The timeline for a surrogacy journey is generally more predictable than the timeline for an adoption process.
- Leadership: As the intended parent of your child, you get to make some important choices in the surrogacy process, including personally selecting a surrogate and the method of egg or embryo donation. You can also ensure that your surrogate receives top prenatal care that is open to you attending OBGYN appointments. You can also choose to develop a relationship with your surrogate throughout the process if she has a similar preference. In an adoption, the birth mother makes the decision as to which adoptive family her child will join. Although prenatal care might be arranged between parties, generally it is the birth mother’s decision as to what kind of prenatal care she will receive.
Potential Obstacles for Single Fathers Pursuing Surrogacy
Now that you know the rewards of pursuing surrogacy, you should consider some of the challenges. Single men often feel that they have more barriers to overcome than women who wish to become parents. As societal norms, advocacy, and technology progress, these barriers are steadily breaking.
Surrogacy Laws for Single Fathers
The process of having a child is complicated by laws concerning parental rights and the legality of surrogacy. Single fathers abide by the same laws as couples or single mothers. The specific laws concerning surrogacy vary depending on your jurisdiction. In some states, surrogacy contracts are not legally valid.
The good news is that compensated surrogacy is a widely recognized practice and is permitted in most states. To prepare for any potential hurdles, we recommend consulting an attorney and learning more about the surrogacy laws in your state or region and how they apply to single intended parents.
Surrogacy for Single Fathers and the Controversy
People might think of adoption as the ethical option for single fathers without consideration for your personal desires. The stigma surrounding surrogacy has started to lift as more prospective dads and moms pursue single parenthood. We believe that with the right approach and careful consideration of the process, all people are capable of starting a family, regardless of their relationship status.
Single Father Surrogacy With Creative Family Connections
Surrogacy is a feasible option for single men and single women who want to start a family of their own. Creative Family Connections is here to help make your dream a reality. Our vetting process for surrogate candidates ensures clients find an incredible match. Contact us to learn more.